Then, a month later he texted me out of the blue asking to see me and apologising for before. The story goes a little something like this: you go on Tinder, you match with a guy, have some hilarious (read – well thought through and carefully constructed) ‘banter’, and agree to meet. He seems normal, you get pissed and tell him about that time you got locked in a toilet at uni and had to sleep on the floor. What are all these people talking about, saying that Tinder is full of wankers? I kind of liked him, but as he was so on it before, for him to completely cease contact really threw me. We texted for ages before we met, but an hour before our first date he cancelled and then went silent.
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I don’t think anyone, boy or girl, has signed up thinking that it was going to be all champagne dinners and trips to Paris. If you’ve ever used the app, chances are you’ll have come across them a couple of times – those elusive creatures who walk among us, posing as normal human beings when actually they’ve got all the stealthy disappearing skills of David Blaine with special spy training. No harm done, you like him, you’d had a wax, and you’ll definitely see him again, right? One 26-year-old I spoke to had two particularly telling experiences on the app recently. I texted him a week later asking what happened and he replied saying, ‘We had run out of commentary,’ and some other pretentious nonsense.